Building Airplanes while flying them

This is a message to all my fellow recovering perfectionist.

For all those waiting for the right conditions and sufficient knowledge to start.

For all those that make sure the way is clear before venturing out.

All those that often pull out from launching their project because they feel like: “who am I to do this?”.

If you are not one of us, this energy is likely not to do what it should do for you, bring you clarity and healing. Scroll on!

Now, for the rest of us:

Hi, and welcome to this space of safety for our own unique way of doing things.

Today I want to talk to you about a concept that has stuck with me for over a decade. A concept that may hold enough charge to counter the little gremlin criticising your every move in your head.

When I was working for the university’s newspaper, I regularly interviewed a student representative about the council’s new projects. He always looked busy, yet certain. We’d do “walk and talks”; which is a fancy term describing the toxic habit to discuss things while you are rushing off somewhere else.

One day, while walking and talking about a project that was about to be launched, he said: “It will work out, though there are unanswered questions. You know, we are building the airplane while flying it. That’s our motto”. It took me all this time to really understand what it meant. Today I understand that he was so busy in his role that there was little to no time to wait for the perfect time to launch a project. Instead of being defeated by those odds, Alex decided to make it work for him. He mastered the art of imperfection.  

‘Building the airplane while flying it’ is the equivalent to jumping before you are ready. Hitting go before having all your ducks in a row. It’s not giving a fuck if it looks good, just submitting it. It is what I lovingly call “fuck it energy” – the ultimate antidote to perfectionism. The entire focus is on the effort of doing, instead of the results. Perfectionism worries about the outcome.

It is the decision that your work is too valuable and deserves to get done before slowly disappearing in your draft box. It is a love-language for your inner child, the part that likes to play and invent.

It is the decision that the effort is more important than the result in the end. The love-language that you speak to your dreams and desires that holds your inner child safe and sound. It is the spark that keeps your fire lit until you make it.

@howtobehumanpod

The key to mastering a craft is repetition. It builds experience. Both of which you will only gain, when you do what it is that you do. When we get stuck in passive force, we plan something until the moment to act has passed. Someone else comes and does it. They do a worst job than you, and it annoys the living daylight out of you. We have all been there. 

Granted, knowing when to start is a delicate skill that we only develop with experience. But not starting at all is a 100% guarantee to fail.

Now, I believe a great way to change our behaviour is understanding why we are doing what we are doing. Perfectionism is serving you. Either it keeps you safe from ridicule, the sense of failure or unworthiness. Mostly from yourself. It is worth checking-in why that’s happening. Take a trip down memory-lane, where did you feel this the first time? When did you feel this the last time? Voila, welcome to your trauma story.

To overcome patterns, we have to build new pathways. The point here is not to intentionally submit bad work, but to skip ‘overthinking it’ and self-sabotaging. This is your invitation to not wait till it is too late. You have to decide what is worth more to you: a) keep feeling safe or b) risking it and breaking free.

It is normal to be worried about what others think. Let me tell you, there are many half-truths told about that one. It can take a life-time to not care when your heart is so deep in it. So, let’s talk about it. Other people will always either like what you do, hate what you do or not care. There is no in-between.

The reality is, you aren’t chocolate, and not even everyone likes chocolate. You cannot make everyone happy.

“It is the quality of your life, not what you have”, says Wayne Dyer. Are you happy with what you put out? Because if you are then that’s all you need to be worried about. The only person that is required to like what you do, to be happy about what you do – is you! The quality of your work is the happiness you experience while doing it. That’s your own approval.

Start doing your market research! Start advertising! Start doing it. No one in this world thinks like you. Only you can do what your desires show you. Even if it has been done hundred times over. No one works the material quite like you. This is your soul seed – your gift that you were meant to realize in this lifetime. Don’t sleep on it.

So, if you need to be a perfectionist, make sure you are an exceptional terrible one.

Now, here is the prescribed medicine:

Take one thing that you have been putting off since the start of the year, and just fucking do it. You will get one week from reading this article to complete it. So, let’s not go designing a whole course, will ya. I am in this with you. One week from now, we will meet here and you will write in the comment section either what you completed/submitted/finished or just write that you did. And then you will go, leave it, and get cake. (And if you are one of those people who don’t like cake, get whatever else makes you happy). Come back and repeat as many times over as you need.

I see you in a week.

 

PS: Before you now go, let’s not intellectualize perfectionism as merely a decision. It’s not that simple. It’s a subconscious (or hopefully more conscious by now) behavioural pattern forged in the days of trauma, serving a very logical, beneficial cause. These patterns take time to overcome. Sometimes years. Please do not let yourself be judged by someone’s toxic half-knowledge on this subject. You do not need fixing. You are learning how to channel that fire energy into something productive, and when you are getting there, your quality will always shine through your work effortlessly. Because in truth, even submitted prematurely, your stuff was always that good. By learning to not be fixated on your work, it naturally will become better, and better, and better. Let’s take out the pain of creating. Thank you for your attention.